Vampires enjoy lots of perks: immortality, cool accents, and if you're Brad Pitt (the undead version), baby blues dreamy enough to turn Arnold Schwarzenegger into the fruitiest bottom this side of Key West. Like all lifestyles, however, Vampirism must have a few cons. It's easier to believe that immortality is attainable by drinking the blood of booger collecting, wannabe Anne Rice fatties, than a guy hailing from Eastern Europe not having dental issues after the age of 20, let alone year 452.

Dentist:
"I'm sorry tell you this Mr. Dracula, but a 400 year old canine is not stable enough to support a bridge. My recommendation for you is a complete upper denture plate."

Dracula:
"Mortal fool!! I should destroy you for being so incompetent. Regretfully, you are the only dentist in my network that accepts my Transylvania Dental Insurance card, so I must let you live."